Once you have worked past the pain, grief, and anger that surfaces during the process of getting divorced, it’s time to take care of yourself and begin the healing. Once you are ready to enter the singles world, what should you expect?
You might be feeling a little lost at first, as your routine and life drastically changes. Some will find it harder to adjust than others. It is important that you take the time to grieve your loss, without being afraid to live your new life.
If you have been married for many years, and you are newly single, it could be quite a shock. The dating community has quickly evolved into an array of niche options to fit any situation, any need and any desire. It might be time for you to think about what you really need and desire within the confines of your situation. Or maybe it is time to make a change in your life before you decide what you are looking for in a companion.
If you have recently divorced, keep in mind these tips that can make your new single life easier.
10. Practice Social Media Etiquette
Although you may be upset, distraught or even feel justified, consider the consequences before you post anything online. Even if you post something and delete it, that opinion or image can most likely be found. As much as you want to, do not bash your ex on social media, before or after the divorce.
This can and will be used against you, not only in a court of law, but it is out there for the world to see, including your children. Of course, certain actions warrant being called out, but if you are just airing dirty laundry, it may do more damage to you than to your ex. If you have to, unfriend, unfollow or unlike someone and do it without making a big deal about it.
9. Legal Refresh
Review and revise legal documents such as trusts, powers of attorney, a will, life insurance policies, savings and retirement accounts. This can create a nightmare later if something should happen to either party before updates are made. Seek trusted legal help and make these changes now rather than later. Discussing the division of finances, house, cars, paintings and even pets can be heated and emotional. If agreements cannot be made civilly, choose your battles carefully. Decide which material and sentimental items are worth battling over.
Try to remain civil during these proceedings and be reasonable. Even though it is an emotional time, try to keep emotions out of it. Remaining calm and cool will give you the upper hand. Listen to the advice of a trusted attorney who has your best interest at heart.
8. Be Optimistic
Instead of grieving excessively over the breakup or wallowing in self-pity, try to remain optimistic about the positive aspects of being single. Often people have to downsize living spaces and drive more affordable cars; the adjustment can be tough. Think of this chapter in your life as a new beginning, a fresh page, at least in your home and love life. If the goal is happiness and you were unhappy in the marriage, divorce may set you on a healing path that can lead to a better life.
Try to find a new calmness within you, peace that you couldn’t find when you were married. Take solace in your newfound path and be a little selfish with your time, enjoy your privacy and time alone. Be optimistic that you made the right decision and that your future is on the upswing.